'Succession' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: "Living+", 'Succession': Tom and Shiv's "Bitey" Game is the Horniest, Most Effed Up Thing Theyve Done Yet. Im in my car, all intimidated. They all look like fucking tents. Based in NYC but will travel anywhere for the scoop: Ice cream or news. 7,786, This story has been shared 5,838 times. No other animal crosses the road with this kind of fucking poise. Shes gonna overinflate him. No. Now she was beautiful, beautiful. I got a good idea, Tommy. I dont know. This is how the conversation ended. Oh, you can see it in their eyehole. He brought one to Vegas last year, and I saw her by the swimming pool in a two-piece bathing suit, and I cant jack the fucking memory out of my goddamn skull. I only have the room key. I just grabbed my big black dick and left. White, I smell alcohol on your breath. I said, Thats been there since 77, dude. You pour that much Scotch on a tongue, its gonna smell like Scotch forever. Back then, having their names on Vegas marquees was living the dream. Where is Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up streaming? Thats what kind of person I am right there, 12 years old. And The Comedy Store in LA is a really pretty big place. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. Id have peed on both of them, but one of them was too fucking high and I was like, Id piss on the wall trying to piss on that guy. Thats the whole plan. And I wet the bed! And Im like, Me too! And I never told him. I do it all the time. and the We walk up to this booth that only sells dildos. But for our purposes, as well as the inner workings of how show business actually still works or doesnt pay off for most comedians, the most telling part comes when White talks money. CatherineBridget86886758. He always believed in my talent, but not my work ethic. I I got nowhere to be. [inaudible] [shouting] Whats it look like now? One [giggling] ..fucking eyehole. After dedicating years of service at a matchmaking company, Arini tries to piece together her mysterious past and memories of a former client. Regal Watch Ron White: If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up on Netflix, This story has been shared 41,150 times. I always let him think he wet the fucking bed. The way they cross the street right in front of fucking cars with that weird-ass confidence. Im not trying to be an asshole, and I go, Really? All right. Fuck, I dont know. Is she there? Watch trailers & learn more. Thats how much money Ive got. Now Ive got questions. A Tourists Guide to Love Filming Locations: Where Was the Rachael Leigh Cook Movie Filmed? [cheering and applause] Thats pretty slick. Just confirm how you got your ticket. Youre not even trying? You're almost there! For Whites part, he revisits a story he once told on SiriusXM a few years ago during the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival, which is about the week he opened for another comedian at the Punchline in Sacramento. Its almost like theres a clown there. 6:01, gets there. But it sure helps to have a headliner believe in you like Foxworthy believed in White. Nobodys moving till we get across this street. They could have flown over the fucking street. First big gig we did together was the first week in December 1996 at the MGM Grand in Vegas. I dont know if you know. Traditionally in American comedy clubs, theres three acts. 1:03:21. Dont worry about them. Coming Soon. Numan1235cansunar2234comtr. Leaves me shudder-crying. I do. That little spot tastes like Skittles. Literally, people come from all over the world to buy stuff for their shops, and my wife said, My friends having a shower. My beer is cold. Now, I think its a little strange that vaginal rejuvenation is fine, yet its illegal to roll back the odometer on your car. Anyway I was a bed-wetter, and I was mortified by it. 3,036, This story has been shared 2,003 times. This is drunk. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Im a 61-year-old raging alcoholic, motherfucker. Or thats what it said in the deposition. Im sure youre grateful. And You Might Be A Redneck had been the number one-selling comedy album in the country for a year and a half. It was about three years ago, and there were six comics in an open forum, telling stories, and this is the story that I told. [distorted] Wagyu beef taste like boot leather. Recorded at The Paramount Theater in Denver, CO, stand-up comedienne Kathleen Madigan explores topics including aging parents, interactions with millennials, and hunting bigfoot. It follows Bert Kreischer as he spills on bodily emissions, being bullied by his kids and the end to his familys escape room outing. And just do a comb-over. It says, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing comes on the television. No. A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. That aint even kind of drunk. Quit trimming it for a year. Ill get some money. You ever seen a dead goose anywhere in your goddamn life? Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. Nobody wants to be a white asshole, but everybody wants to have one all of a sudden. Two brothers trying to make it as dancers open their own club, but their artistic drive soon clashes with the business, threatening their relationship. But let me tell you something, folks. So I did my set, and Im out in the hallway talking to Joe Rogan and this guy comes up to me, in his early 30s, I would guess, very flamboyant, very nervous. Trying to make this funny, sell some comedy tickets in a land where you dont play my shit. Starring:Ron White Watch all you want. We dont even want it. So when Bill gets finished, he comes down and does a set with us and when we get done with our shows, Bill and Jeff wanna go drinking and gambling, and I want to go to a prayer meeting and a poetry reading that Id heard about. Three weeks ago, my wife and I went to New York City, and we went to a gay wedding, and it was a man marrying a woman, [laughing] but it was the gayest fucking thing Ive ever seen. My wife does yoga, and next to her yoga school in Beverly Hills, theres a spa that offers treatments that Ive never heard of. Im all over it, dude. While TVs sitcom rednecks encountered cute culture clashes with their posh new neighbors, White regales us with how he has come to respect and almost admire the gay men in the West Hollywood bars near his home. Your email address will not be published. White I was always going to tell you if I ever met you that when my father was alive, you were his favorite comedian by far. I said, Thank you very much for telling me that, man. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. This is, uh This is brilliant. Members can play, pause and resume watching, all without commercials or commitments.Connect with Netflix Online:Visit Netflix WEBSITE: http://nflx.it/29BcWb5Like Netflix Kids on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/NetflixFamilyLike Netflix on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/29kkAtNFollow Netflix on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/29gswqdFollow Netflix on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/29oO4UPFollow Netflix on TUMBLR: http://bit.ly/29kkemTRon White: If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up | Stand-up Special Trailer [HD] | Netflix http://youtube.com/netflix And traditionally during the week, these three comics would go to the mall and those two comics would watch that comic spend money. Eat this baby goose pussy lip taco., Back in 1996, my dear friend Jeff Foxworthy became the biggest comedian that ever lived. You know, the fame and fortune and all that? And I said, I dont think so, but I kept thinking about it, and I realized its changed me in two ways. After dedicating years of service at a matchmaking company, Arini tries to piece together her mysterious past and memories of a former client. Hes a more believably real-life incarnation of The Beverly Hillbillies, growing up poor in dusty, rural Texas, only to strike it rich in comedy, and move in with his newest wife into a home theyve built in Beverly Hills. Whats she doing to Wilson? And it was his goal for a lot of years to make me a famous comedian, and he truly sucks at it, cause it took him for fuckin ever. And that was the first timeall three of us had our names on big signs in Vegas, and we went outside to look at it, and I was like, Fuck, now what? My cousin Ray, who Ive talked about on stage before, hes a real guy, he only eats at the Golden Corral because my cousin Ray only dates huge women. White, meanwhile, has survived both divorce and divorce lawyers, and has put a lot of thought into drunk-driving checkpoints, the handsomeness of Chris Hemsworth, and the radical terrorist Canadian geese.. If you dont know what they look like, it looks like a pug was raped by a fruit bat. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Apparently there were some unanswered questions in Fat Midgets Fucking Fat Midgets. I left everything in my room, and I tell the guy, Listen, I got to go back to the hotel. Netflix uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes. Hes the drunk uncle of the group. I have sleep apnea, which keeps my wife awake. Bienvenidos a un nuevo episodio de Estrenos en Netflix!Hoy vamos a hablar de un especial de comedia de Ron White que se llama \"If you quit listening, i'll shut up\", y que se estren en Netflix el 16 de Octubre de 2018.Muchos chistes machistas y muchas groseras, pero un comediante que es un Sandy y que sale a escena con un vaso de whisky y un puro. And I know some guys that have had one homosexual experience or two or 10,000, doesnt make a fuck bit of difference to me. Yo, bitch, what the fuck you going to do about it? Lock those beady eyes on you. And as you approach these toilets, the lid of the toilet automatically opens. This happened last Wednesday at The Comedy Store in LA. Whats the problem? I said, I ordered a movie, it said, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing came on the TV. She goes, What did you order? Cast Away. Weve tried everything that there is. I know theyre perfectly content to live the way they do. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. One, while we were building this house, my wife selected these really exotic Japanese toilets. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. I got like 20 tweets from one guy, going, My wifes pussy was burning like No, you didnt. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. Thats what I do. It's Me, Margaret' Streaming on HBO Max or Netflix? Thats all a cat has to do, is just, Pow! Theres so many dead cats on my street, it looks carpeted. Go see what it is. Wake up those fucking dogs you bought. She bought me a bicycle, thinking I might ride it. Theyre like, Ooh, look at that one. Which one? You let me think, I went my whole life, that Id pissed in Joe Paines fucking bunk bed?, So my wife and I, we both tour extensively, and, uh she bought us two dogs, which, you know, just makes touring easier if you have a couple of dogs to drag with you on all those flights, and she bought us two French Bulldogs. [high-pitched] Thats all. Great big, old big uns. Okay, heres mine: Just lunch, and a blowjob. 13,103, This story has been shared 7,786 times. I ran, um I ran for president of the United States, and I dont think I won, because nobodys called and I quit watching television. Heres another fair test: darts. Cheers, this is just special, right here. Whiskey and ice cubes. Stream It Or Skip It: 'White House Plumbers' On HBO, A Comedic Take On The Bumbling Team Behind The Watergate Break-In, Stream It Or Skip It: Kiss, Kiss! on Netflix, a Polish Rom-Com With an Oogy Womanizer Protagonist. Somebody was peeing on me! Geese started flying through the engines of that jet. Im not gonna do it. I appreciate that, and Im sorry you lost your dad. He goes, I was in love with you and Id see you on television, Id pretend you were my husband and wed go out to eat, and things like that. I went, Well, thats nice of you to say, I appreciate it, very nice to meet you. He goes, I had a picture of you I used to masturbate to. Which one? If it would have been a handjob, Id have been going, Hey, youre a plumber, dude, get that claw off my fucking pecker.. You go anywhere in West Hollywood, theres these gigantic gay mens clubs with these huge patios. Streaming Schedule, Season 5, Part 2 Debut Info, 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc. All rights reserved, Stream It Or Skip It: 'John Mulaney: Baby J' On Netflix, The Stand-Up Comedian's Post-Rehab Return To Center Stage, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Alex Borstein: Corsets & Clown Suits' On Prime Video, Mrs. Maisel's Manager Takes The Stage To Sing And Sling Jokes, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Louis C.K. And three hours after I met this chick, Im laying on my back going, [tightly] This bitch is crazy. And I was right. Follow officers from a South Carolina sheriffs department as they urgently search for individuals who've disappeared under troubling circumstances. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese.Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese.Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Get in the car. Ill give you a second to get your arms around that. I wish you would have told us that up front. I was the feature act at the Punchline Comedy Club in Sacramento, California. Joe Rogan with Ron White on Dane Cook, Carlos Mencia & Stealing Jokes From Comedians! In the summer, I keep a bowl of limes right next to the salt shaker, and Ill just get a lime, squirt a little lime juice in there, little bit of salt, hunker down, do some pussy shots. When my dog gets out of the yard, gets in the street, hes like, Oh fuck! Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. We go back to OLearys Pub where this whole fucking thing started. There were porno movies everywhere, but the porno movie that caught my eye was called Fat Midgets Fucking Fat Midgets Two. Did you hear that? Did you just wake me up to ask me if I heard something? Now I dont know if they have a color in mind when they start, or if you just bleach it and get whatever the fuck you get. Maybe a salad and a sandwich. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. 3,426, This story has been shared 3,036 times. All rights reserved. Cause I dont have the answer to a lot of lifes questions. I have no idea what color my asshole is. And I asked the guy, I said How much are the dildos? And he goes, [angrily] Theyre not dildos, theyre personal massagers. All right. Fuck Rudders, uh Bone Depot, Shaft Crafters. A broom handle, a pool cue, a fucking plunger. Gag, woman, gag. And Danny wakes up and he goes, I had a dream. Not two eyeholes like those other sluts. I understand how unnecessary that was. And I still eat tacos, but now I only eat the baby duck pussy lip tacos that you get at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills on Sunday. She was trash drunk on red wine. Id give you half my shit right now, but I dont make up the rules.. Thats what they say. Nobody wants to talk about it but me. But oddly enough, I do have a suggestion for this. Director Tom Forrest Writer Ron White Star Ron White That Yale snob fucking piece of shit, fucked me out of so goddamn much money. Ron White - Take 2 Viagra and demand a pat down. And the punchline of that story is, I come back to the States, when I get back to the States, my assistant goes, Ron, did you hear that John Mayhew died? And Im like, John Mayhew Why do I know that name? Its your ex-wifes divorce lawyer. [laughing quietly] Oh, I hated that motherfucker. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Thats all you need. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Put down that ketchup and drop that toddler. Thats all I know. 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Youre just fucking just Some red lipstick on that nose, this would be hot as fuck. Im not gay. They just like to watch. I dont know what Im supposed to tell my fucking relatives. Its very short. Starring:Ron White Watch all you want. So if youre ever in Beverly Hills on Sunday night, go to the Four Seasons.